The Simpsons and Seinfeld both debuted in 1989, when I was in junior high, and beginning to develop my acerbic, snarky attitude. In other words, both shows debuted at the right time in my life.
I memorized the Simpsons with impeccable accuracy. I can recite most references from the first eleven seasons and often interject quotations in conversation. If it happens in the Simpsons, I can find a real-life equvialent.
I ranked my favorite hundred episodes, and I'm sure the order will change. I also wrote a few reviews. I'm not sure I'll ever have time to review them all thoroughly.
100. Bart Carny (season 9)
Synopsis: After Bart causes property damage at the carnival, the operator orders Bart and Homer to work off the debt at the carnival itself. When the police shut down the crooked ring toss game, two carnies move in with the Simpsons and trick them out of their house. Jim Varney guest stars.
Review: Hey, we all love the carnival. There's nothing more I can say about it. The episode is solid enough from beginning to end to make my Top 100.
Great moments:
-Bart and Lisa avoiding yard work
-Screamtorium
-Bart wrecking Hitler's limousine
-The geek bit
-Behind the scenes at the ring toss
-Rye and Cooter dressing in the Simpsons' clothes
Quotations:
"Some say Hitler's skeleton is in the trunk. Others say it's a spare tire. I'm a busy man, so I haven't checked yet."--Carnival operator
"Beware, the ravages of age." --lady in the screamatorium
"You wrecked Hitler's car! What did he ever do to you?" --Nelson
--------------------------------------------------------------
99. Itchy and Scratchy Land (season 6)
Synopsis: The Simpson Family take a vacation at Itchy and Scratchy Land (rather than Marge's original idea of going to the bird sanctuary), a theme park modeled after the extremely violent cartoon show in the Simpson world. Homer and Bart land themselves in detention at the park. Eventually the family must stop the park's animatronic robots that turn against the guests.
Review: A lot of us have been there, where we take a vacation with the family, sometimes to a theme park. We know the ridiculously huge parking lots, the long lines, etc. This episode represents that idea fairly, though our experiences were never part Jurassic Park and part Westworld. The plot isn't that great, but there's enough to keep a person entertained. If you encounter anyone named Bort, it is because of this episode.
Great moments:
-Bart and Lisa's reaction to the bird sanctuary vacation
-Past vacations where Homer made a jerk of himself
-Sign of evil countdown on AM radio
-Flickey's signs on the interstate
-"The shortcut"
-The log ride
-Itchy and Scratchy's brief antisemitic history
-Bort
-The park defending the level of violence in cartoons
-Disgruntled Goat and Ku Klux Clam stuffed animals
-Subterranean detention level at the park
-How the Simpsons are thanked for saving the park
Quotations:
"Ohhhh, everything's too expensive these days. Look at this bible I bought -- 15 bucks." -- Homer
"Which one of you is the mailman?" --Grandpa Simpson to the cat and dog
"With today's modern cars, you can't get lost, what with all the silicon chips and such." --Homer
Marge: "On TV that mouse pulled out that cat's lungs and played them like a bagpipe, but in the next scene the cat was breathing comfortably."
Park attendant: "Just like in real life."
"Nobody ruins my vacation but me, and maybe the boy!" --Homer
"Disgruntled Goat had his moments." --Bart
--------------------------------------------------------------
98. Boy Scoutz N the Hood (season 5)
Synopsis: After a sugar-filled night, Bart wakes up to discover he joined the Junior Campers. Eventually Bart and Homer take a weekend rafting trip with the Junior Campers. Homer, of course, nearly dooms them with his buffoonery. Ernest Borgnine guest stars.
Review: Bart seems genuiniely interested in the Junior Campers, once he discovers he can skip classes for the den meetings. The plot doesn't take off until the late second act, when Homer leads them into the ocean. I enjoyed the fact that Bart and Homer actually spent time together, even if the plot is wildly unlikely.
Great moments
-Martin playing the "My Dinner With Andre" arcade game
-All-syrup squishy
-The effects of the all-syrup squishy
-Homer's brain explaining the value of money
-Bathe the old folks day
-The various ways people enjoy knives
-Floor pie
-A Krustyburger franchise on an off-shore oil rig
Quotations:
"I don't know where you pixies found your pixie drink, but I like it." --Barney drinking some of the all-syrup squishy
"Marge, don't discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is important to learn." --Homer
"Help yourself, but stay above the equator!" --Jasper, one of the old folks about to be bathed
"I'm sure you kids know me best as Sgt. Fatso Judson in From Here To Eternity!" --Ernest Borgnine
"Stupid poetic justice." --Homer
"This ain't one of your church picnic flare gun firings!" --Homer
"Give me 700 Krustyburgers!" --Homer, upon entering the offshore oil rig Krustyburger
--------------------------------------------------------------
97. Deep Space Homer (season 5)
Synopsis: Despondent after failing to win the worker of the week award, Homer drunk-dials NASA, catching them at a time when they seek an average person to send into orbit as a public relations stunt. Homer and fellow barfly Barney compete for the spot, with a sober Barney winning until he succumbs to non-alcoholic champagne. Homer goes into orbit with two astronauts, and the mission is disastrous. Buzz Aldrin and James Taylor guest star.
Review: Let's face it, this was a highly unrealistic episode, sending Homer into space. But there are far too many classic lines to ignore. In particular, Homer's carelessness in zero gravity shatters the shuttle's ant farm, sending an ant floating too close to the camera, and generating a reaction from TV anchor Kent Brockman that has taken on a life of its own outside the show.
"What you've seen speaks for itself. The Corvair has been taken over -- conquered, if you will -- by a race of giant space ants. Whether they will consume the captive Earth men, or simply enslave them remains to be seen. But it seems certain now; there is no stopping them. The ants will soon be here. And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. I would like to remind them that as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves." --Kent Brockman on the air
Eventually Brockman reaffirms his allegiance to the human race.
Great moments:
-Mr. Burns' confusion over the worker of the week award ceremony
-Homer's reaction to the carbon rod winning the award
-Voice actor Harry Shearer's impersonation of Tom Brokaw
-Barney's behavior after drinking the non-alcoholic champagne
-Homer's reaction to singer James Taylor giving them the wakeup call from mission control
Quotations:
"Every employee must win worker of the week at least once, regardless of gross incompetence, obesity, or rank odor." --Homer Simpson on the union rule regarding the worker of the week award
"This crew features a mathematician, a different *kind* of mathematician, and a statistician." -- Tom Brokaw on the prior shuttle launch that accelerated Homer's complaints about boring shuttle launches
"Wait, Statue of Liberty... that was OUR planet! Damn you! You blew it up! Damn you all to hell!" -- Homer Simpson at the NASA press conference
"In a way, you're both winners. But in a more accurate way, Barney's the winner." -- NASA mission control chief
"Freedom! Sweet, horrible freedom!" -- the ants upon the ant colony's destruction
"I'm going to play, and you're going to float there, and like it!" --James Taylor
"Wow, former President James Taylor." --Homer
"Crew in trouble, risking dangerous re-entry, blah blah blah. We'll see you after the movie." --Kent Brockman
--------------------------------------------------------------
96. Blood Feud (season 2)
Synopsis: Mr. Burns needs a blood transfusion, and Bart has the rare matching blood type. However, Homer doesn't think the family has been rewarded sufficiently for the life-saving treatment.
Review: This is classic Simpsons, always misinterpreting the moral of the story, never getting what they want, and eventually accepting that fact. This was also the point in the series where Homer often misquoted the bible, in this case, declaring Hercules and the Lion a bible story, when it's not even a fable.
Great moments
-The various messages on the new nuclear power plant public warning sign
-Homer dictating a letter
-Homer pretending to be Mr. Burns at the post office
Quotations:
"The joke's on them! If the core explodes, there won't be any power to light that sign." --Homer reacting to the last message of the warning sign ("Core explosion. Repent sins.")
Bart: "How did a lion get rich?"
Homer: "It was the olden days."
"Oh, hey there, Mr., uh, Brown Shoes. How about that local sports team." --Mr. Burns greeting his employees
"You should only drink to enhance your social skills." --Barney
"Wow! A big ugly head!" --Bart receiving his Olmec artifact from Mr. Burns
--------------------------------------------------------------
95. Trash of the Titans (season 9)
Synopsis: After a fight with the garbage collectors, The Simpsons lose trash service. Marge apologizes, but Homer rescinds that apology, runs for Sanitation Commissioner, and wins. Steve Martin and U2 guest star.
Review: From the idea of a new holiday for the summer lull, to Homer running for political office to avoid an apology, this is a laugher. The debate sequence, with Homer's surprisingly quick wit, is hysterical. However, I felt Steve Martin's talents were wasted as Ray Patterson, the incumbent sanitation commissioner. This marked the 200th episode in the series.
Great moments:
-How Love Day was conceived
-The garbage rule in the Simpson household
-The lawnful of trash
-Flanders kids climbing diaper mountain
-Homer misinterpreting the story of David and Goliath
-Moe inventing Homer's campaign slogan
-The sanitation commissioner debate
Quotations:
"We need to cook up a new holiday for the summer: something with gifts, cards, assorted gougeables." --Costington's Manager
"The lady who lives in the trash pile attacked me again. And the school nurse says Bart has the plague." --Marge reacting to the trash pile at their home
"This is a very proud day for us, especially your father, me. I beat City Hall. It's just like David and Goliath, only this time, David won." --Homer
"What am I, the answer man? Just vote for me." --Homer campaigning
"What the bloody hell?" --Bono, confused as Homer appears on the monitor bank behind him during a concert
Patterson (out of breath): "I'm sorry I'm late, but somebody cut my brakes."
Homer: "Well, you should have been here early, then."
"If you want a bunch of crazy promises about garbage men cleaning your house, then by all means, vote for this sleazy lunatic." --Patterson referring to Homer
"I'm not much on speeches, but it's so gratifying to leave you wallowing in the mess you've made. You're screwed, thank you, bye." --Ray Patterson turns down reinstatement to his office
--------------------------------------------------------------
94. The Secret War of Lisa Simpson (season 8)
Synopsis: Bart is sent to military school following a colossal prank involving a dozen bullhorns creating a shockwave that shatters every window in town. Lisa, disgusted with the lack of challenging school curriculum, also decides to attend military school. Willem Dafoe guest stars.
Review: This is one of those flexible reality shows that works, considering the following week Bart and Lisa will be back at their normal elementary school. Lisa, as the first female cadet at the academy, needs Bart's help more than ever. The lonesome, helpless feeling away from home is something we all experienced as a kid. The filmstrips used at Springfield Elementary ("Sand" and "The Moon of Earth") are top-notch as usual.
Great moments:
-The museum of crime
-Bart's bullhorn prank
-Filmstrips at Springfield Elementary
-Various banana stickers
-Chief Wiggum mentioning his brother owns and operates a famous cave
-Military school class discussing a poem from John Keats (civilian)
-Initiation
-The firing range
-Bart "missing" his last target
-Instructor describing The Eliminator
Quotations:
"While Johnny Welfare plays acid rock on a stolen guitar, his old lady has a better idea. (light reveals woman holding a baby between hamburger buns) That's right, she's got the munchies for a California Cheeseburger!" --Chief Wiggum explaining the museum of crime exhibits
"So, the next time you're walking on the beach, enjoying an hourglass, or making cheap low-grade windshields, think where we'd be without sand." --Sand filmstrip
"By 1964, experts say man will have established twelve colonies on the moon, ideal for family vacations." --Moon filmstrip
"Slow down, Tubby! You're not on the moon yet!" --Moon filmstrip
"The moon belongs to America and anxiously awaits the arrival of our astro-men." --Moon filmstrip
"Of course we could make things more challenging, Lisa, but then the stupider students would be in here complaining, furrowing their brows in a vain attempt to understand the situation." --Principal Skinner
"After all, we have female singers, female... motorists..." --Commandant
"We have a girl cadet among our ranks, so we're going to have to make a few changes. First of all, Franklin, you are no longer the girliest cadet here." --Commandant
"Since you attended public school, I'm going to assume you're already proficient with small arms." --Firing range instructor
"Gentleman, welcome to flavor country." --Commandant, explaining the Eliminator
--------------------------------------------------------------
93. Kamp Krusty (season 4)
Synopsis: Bart and Lisa attend summer camp, but find it to be a dilapidated sweatshop run by bullies. Bart leads a mutiny. While the kids are away, Homer is able to lose weight and regrow a few hairs. He regains the weight immediately when learning Bart has taken over the camp.
Review: Although it's funny, I chuckle at the idea that Mr. Black and the bullies are doing just as much work bullying and slave-driving as the kids at the camp.
Great moments:
-Bart's dream about the end of school
-Homer's lawnmowing awareness
-Mr. Black's introduction
-News bulletin about crisis at camp krusty
Quotations:
"Someone torch these permanent records. Quickly, now." --Skinner, in Bart's dream
"A 'D' turns into a 'B' so easily. You got greedy." --Homer
Lisa: "That water doesn't look safe."
Kearney: "Well, it ain't getting any safer."
"We're not going ANYWHERE, until this Christmas HAM gives me a pull-up!" --Instructor at the fat camp
"Sweet, nourishing gruel!" --Martin
--------------------------------------------------------------
92. Much Apu About Nothing (season 7)
Synopsis: Deflecting the high cost of preventing bears from wandering into town, Springfield's mayor blames illegal immigrants. As the town prepares to vote on the deportation of illegal immigrants, the Simpson family work to help shopkeeper Apu gain his citizenship.
Review: I consider the episode a nice political satire, poking fun at mob hysteria and focusing on one of Springfield's supporting characters. It's not over-the-top hysterical, but it doesn't become preachy either.
Great moments:
-Ned panicking over the bear
-"Impson" family
-Mayor Quimby's berating of the protestors
-Frinkiac 7
-Kearney buying beer
-The 47-star flag
-Apu acting American
Quotations:
"One count of being a bear, and one count of being an accessory to being a bear." --Chief Wiggum
"We're here. We're queer. We don't want anymore bears." --crowd
"Willie, please. The students want to pick on someone their own size." --Skinner
"The story of the Simpson family began in the old country. I forget which one, exactly." --Abe Simpson
"The Ny Mets are my favorite squadron." --Apu
--------------------------------------------------------------
91. Wild Barts Can't Be Broken (season 10)
Synopsis: After a drunken, destructive night celebrating an Isotopes championship, Springfield Police pin the damage caused by Homer and company on the children of the town, instituting a curfew as a result. The kids get even by dishing Springfield's secrets to the public.
Review: Homer and his friends rampaging through the elementary school after the Isotopes' championship, as well as Homer's recollection of the night, is enough to warrant a spot in my favorite hundred episodes. It was a nice change to focus on the kids. Discard the musical number, and this episode would probably rank higher.
Great moments:
-Babe Ruth the fourth
-Homer's quick-change as #1 fan
-Drunken celebration at the school
-Homer's recollection of the night
-Don't Go There!
-The Bloodening
Quotations:
"They didn't resort to stealing bases like the other team, so it's kind of a moral victory." --Marge
"That sniper at the All-Star Game was a blessing in disguise." --Moe
Homer: If kids are so innocent, why is everything bad named after them? Acting childish, kidnapping, child abuse...
Bart: What about adultery?
Homer: Not until you're older, son.
"Marge, kite." --Homer
"We're losing valuable makeout time!" --Chalmers
Bart (on the radio): Constable Wiggum likes to act tough, but he also likes to walk the beat in control top pantyhose.
Wiggum: Heh heh, well, it's not like that's a crime.
Eddie: I'm afraid it is, chief.
--------------------------------------------------------------
90. The Last Temptation of Krust (season 9)
Synopsis: Following a disastrous standup comedy routine, Krusty the Klown changes his style to more of an observational, activist comic. Jay Leno, Jeanene Garofolo, Steven Wright, Bobcat Goldthwait and Bruce Baum guest star.
Review: You won't find much of a plot. It's more of a study of Krusty's attempt to transform his image for the sarcastic 1990s. The big payoff is Krusty's quick-change again, at the end, and his love of the SUV we all dream of driving.
Great moments:
-Buying new shoes
-Krusty agreeing to the comedy show
-Steven Wright's routine
-Krusty's bender
-Krusty mistaking his poster for a mirror
-Moe's attempt at comedy
-Canyonero!
Quotations:
Bart: What do we need church shoes for? Jesus wore sandals.
Homer: Well, maybe if he had better arch support, they wouldn't have caught him.
"You can wear the store sock." --salesman (holding gross, stained sock)
"Hey hey. I'm Kent Brockman the clown, filling in for Krusty who didn't come in today. He is presumed dead or on vacation." --Kent Brockman
"I didn't know you, Jay Leno and a monkey were bathing a clown." --Homer
--------------------------------------------------------------
89. The Cartridge Family (season 9)
Synopsis: Following a soccer riot, Homer decides to protect his family with a firearm. His irresponsible behavior leads Marge to question their marriage.
Review: I'm surprised it took nine seasons to skewer America's gun culture. The episode shows, almost accurately, the consequences of Homer's dangerous behavior vs. the somewhat responsible gun owners of the local NRA chapter.
Great moments:
-Soccer intro
-Gun accessories
-Homer's targets while waiting for his gun
-Homer gesturing at himself with the gun
-Various Springfieldians citing the King of England
-Homer's dream about robbing the Kwik-E-Mart
-Alternative dishes
-Super animals
-Gun modifications
Quotations:
"Reacting swiftly, Mayor Quimby has declared mob rule." --Kent Brockman on the riots
"Five days? But I'm mad now!" --Homer on the background check
"What are the odds the boy would look in the vegetable crisper?" --Homer on hiding the gun
--------------------------------------------------------------
88. Homer the Great (season 6)
Synopsis: Somehow, most of Springfield belongs to a secret society called the Stone Cutters. Homer is oblivious for a while, begs to join, only to discover he is the chosen one. Patrick Stewart guest stars.
Review: Borne of America's fascination with secrets and conspiracies, this is kind of a fanciful episode (we never see the Stonecutters again). But it contains one of my favorite songs in the entire series.
Great moments:
-Homer's revenge list
-No Homers club
-Repeated paddlings
-912
-Stonecutter song
Quotations:
"Let's see, I'm an elk, a mason, a communist, the president of the gay and lesbian society for some reason..." --Grandpa looking for his Stonecutters card
"These people looked deep into my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined." --Homer
Number one: Remove the stone of shame!
Homer: Woohoo!
Number one: Attach the stone of triumph!
--------------------------------------------------------------
87. The Heartbroke Kid (season 16)
Synopsis: Junk food stresses the health of Springfield Elementary's students, and Bart is among those gaining significant weight. In order to pay for weight loss at a fat camp, the Simpson family opens their home as a youth hostel. Albert Brooks guest stars.
Review: Albert Brooks puts on another fine performance, this time as the operator of a fat camp. As someone who has used hostels for lodging, well, the B-story is just icing on the cake to me.
Great moments:
-Chariot at fat camp
-German backpacker complaining about the U.S.A.
-Homer singing 99 Luftballoons
Quotations:
"What is this, the age of Charlemagne?" --German backpacker
"Every sign is wrong!" --fat camp operator
--------------------------------------------------------------
86. The Old Man and the Lisa (season 8)
Synopsis: Bankrupt after some bad investments, Mr. Burns turns to recycling to rebuild his finances. With the help of Lisa Simpson, the two eventually open a recycling plant, though Lisa does not like the end result.
--------------------------------------------------------------
85. You Only Move Twice (season 8)
Synopsis: Homer lands a management job at a mysterious company called Globex, forcing the family to move to the seemingly ideal town of Cypress Creek. While Homer is succeeding, and his boss is terrorizing the world, the others don't find the town to their liking.
--------------------------------------------------------------
84. Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington (season 3)
Synopsis: Lisa wins an essay contest and a trip to Washington, D.C., where she discovers the true nature of politics.
--------------------------------------------------------------
83. Bart on the Road (season 7)
Synopsis: It's spring break, with a phony driver's license and a small windfall, Bart, Milhouse, Martin and Nelson combine for a road trip that ends in Knoxville, Tennessee. Lisa, meanwhile, uses her break to bond with her dad at the power plant.
--------------------------------------------------------------
82. Mother Simpson (season 7)
Synopsis: Homer's long-lost mother returns, but her past as a 1960s radical catches up with her quickly.
--------------------------------------------------------------
81. Grandpa vs. Sexual Inadequacy (season 6)
Synopsis: A bathtub tonic concocted by Abe Simpson works wonders for the sex lives of Springfieldians. Abe and Homer hit the road as traveling medicine salesmen, and Homer learns more about his past at an old farm house.
--------------------------------------------------------------
80. Bart the Fink (season 7)
Synopsis: Bart's attempt to get an autograph errantly outs Krusty the Klown as a tax cheat. Krusty appears to die in a horrific plane crash afterward, but Bart isn't so sure.
--------------------------------------------------------------
79. The Last Temptation of Homer (season 5)
Synopsis: Homer is infatuated with an attractive new female co-worker. At the same time, Bart needs hair balm, prescription shoes and glasses to correct a set of temporary problems, leading to his placement in nerd status at school.
--------------------------------------------------------------
78. E-I-E-I-Annoyed Grunt (season 11)
Synopsis: Homer moves the family to a farm to avoid a sunrise duel. While hiding in the country, they invent an addictive tomato-tobacco hybrid.
--------------------------------------------------------------
77. Krusty gets Canceled (season 4)
Synopsis: Under pressure from competition by the new Gabbo show, Krusty the Klown finds himself at the brink of cancellation. Bart and Lisa help Krusty compile celebrities for a comeback special.
--------------------------------------------------------------
76. A Fish Called Selma (season 7)
Synopsis: Seeking to revive his career and squelch rumors of bizarre personal behavior, actor Troy McClure enters a relationship with Marge's sister Selma.
--------------------------------------------------------------
75. Bart After Dark (season 8)
Synopsis: While Marge, Lisa and Maggie are away volunteering at an oil spill cleanup, Bart causes damage at Springfield's unknown burlesque house. Homer, not knowing what's really going on at the property, orders Bart to do chores at the house of ill-repute to repay the damage he caused.
--------------------------------------------------------------
74. Girly Edition (season 9)
Synopsis: Lisa leads a team of students to produce a kids newscast, but only discovers she can't shake the influence of her older brother. Homer acquires a helper monkey that eventually follows Homer into sloth and laziness.
--------------------------------------------------------------
73. Team Homer (season 7)
Synopsis: Homer tricks Mr. Burns into funding his bowling team, but it backfires when Burns discovers the ruse and decides to join the team. Springfield Elementary switches to school uniforms.
--------------------------------------------------------------
72. Marge Be Not Proud (season 7)
Synopsis: Desperate to acquire a new video game, Bart resorts to shoplifting. He is caught, leading to some changes in how his family treat him.
--------------------------------------------------------------
71. Treehouse of Horror V (season 6)
--------------------------------------------------------------
70. Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy (season 5)
Synopsis: Lisa is upset over unflattering comments made by her talking Malibu Stacy doll. She seeks help from the doll's original creator to invent a new doll portraying a positive female image.
--------------------------------------------------------------
69. The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson (season 9)
Synopsis: Barney, acting as a designated driver, abandons Homer's car in New York. The Simpson family travel to New York to retrieve it.
--------------------------------------------------------------
68. Lisa Gets an A (season 10)
Synopsis: Lisa becomes addicted to a video game, neglecting her homework. She cheats to ace a test on a book she did not read.
--------------------------------------------------------------
67. Burns Baby Burns (season 8)
Synopsis: Mr. Burns is surprised by the reappearance of his long lost son. But Larry Burns' boorish behavior is discouraging. Larry and Homer devise an abduction ruse to help Larry win the love of his dad.
--------------------------------------------------------------
66. Lisa the Simpson (season 9)
Synopsis: Lisa feels she is getting dumber by the minute. Grandpa explains all Simpsons lose their smarts around her age.
--------------------------------------------------------------
65. Lisa the Iconoclast (season 7)
Synopsis: Springfield prepares to celebrate its bicentennial. But Lisa's research leads her to discover the town's founder is not as he is portrayed in the history books.
--------------------------------------------------------------
64. Homer and Apu (season 5)
Synopsis: Homer's expose of the Kwik-E-Mart's unsanitary practices cause Apu to lose his job. Apu seeks forgiveness by performing chores for the Simpsons, who eventually try to get his job back for him.
--------------------------------------------------------------
63. Cape Feare (season 5)
Synopsis: Sideshow Bob stalks Bart Simpson to the point the FBI gives the family a new identity in a lakeside town.
--------------------------------------------------------------
62. A Milhouse Divided (season 8)
Synopsis: Milhouse's parents divorce; his father relocates into an apartment complex and his mother begins dating an American Gladiator.
--------------------------------------------------------------
61. Oh Brother, Where Art Thou (season 2)
Synopsis: Homer learns he has a half-brother-- the CEO of a car company in Detroit. Half-brother Herb allows Homer to design a car for for the average man.
--------------------------------------------------------------
60. Rosebud (season 5)
Synopsis: Mr. Burns celebrates a birthday, but is despondent over the loss of a teddy bear as a child. Amazingly, the bear is recovered, but is now in the hands of Maggie Simpson.
--------------------------------------------------------------
59. Bart's Girlfriend (season 6)
Synopsis: Bart finds himself attracted to the reverend's daughter, Jessica. But it turns out she's much more of a troublemaker and manipulator than Bart anticipated.
--------------------------------------------------------------
58. King Size Homer (season 7)
Synopsis: Inspired to avoid a mandatory power plant exercise program, Homer purposefully gains excess weight to become so obese, he must work from home. His newfound corpulence is not well-received as he hoped.
--------------------------------------------------------------
57. Marge Gets A Job (season 4)
Synopsis: In need of money to pay for expensive home repairs, Marge takes a job at the power plant. Mr. Burns becomes infatuated with her.
--------------------------------------------------------------
56. Homer Goes to College (season 5)
Synopsis: A visit from the Nuclear Regulatory Commission exposes Homer's incompetence at his job. Mr. Burns uses his influence to land Homer in a college nuclear physics class. Homer befriends three bright but socially-inept students to tutor him.
--------------------------------------------------------------
55. Brother From the Same Planet (season 4)
Synopsis: Homer forgets to pick up Bart from soccer practice. After seeing an ad on television, Bart applies for a bigger brother through a Big Brothers/Big Sisters-type program. After Homer discovers it, he applies for his own little brother from the same program.
--------------------------------------------------------------
54. Bart's Friend Falls in Love (season 3)
Synopsis: Milhouse falls in love with a new student, Samantha, much to Bart's dismay.
--------------------------------------------------------------
53. Lisa the Vegetarian (season 7)
Synopsis: After a visit to a petting zoo, Lisa develops a disdain for meat, now feeling more connected with its living source. She becomes vegetarian, finding it difficult to adapt in the process.
--------------------------------------------------------------
52. Colonel Homer (season 3)
Synopsis: After a fight with Marge, Homer drives far out of town to a redneck bar, where he meets a beautiful, singing waitress. Homer decides to become the singer's manager, threatening his marriage.
--------------------------------------------------------------
51. New Kid on the Block (season 4)
Synopsis: Bart falls for an older neighbor girl who moves in down the street with her mother, but her romance is not returned.
--------------------------------------------------------------
50. Bart's Inner Child (season 5)
Synopsis: Marge's sisters recommend celebrity therapist Brad Goodman to help her marriage. Goodman makes a public appearance in Springfield, in which he declares Bart everyone's inner child, leading to childish behavior among all the town's citizens.
--------------------------------------------------------------
49. The PTA Disbands (season 6)
Synopsis: A teacher strike leads to Marge and other people from the neighborhood teaching classes at Springfield Elementary.
--------------------------------------------------------------
48. Bart the Murderer (season 3)
Synopsis: Bart takes a job at a mob hangout. When he's late one day, he's framed for the disappearance of his principal, leading to a sensational trial.
--------------------------------------------------------------
47. Lisa's Sax (season 9)
Synopsis: Lisa loses her saxophone in a freak accident, leading to the story of how she obtained it in the first place.
--------------------------------------------------------------
46. And Maggie Makes Three (season 6)
Synopsis: Homer tells the story of how he got out of debt, only to find out Marge is having another baby.
--------------------------------------------------------------
45. Bart Gets an F (season 2)
Synopsis: Bart is threatened with repeating the fourth grade if he cannot pass a history exam.
--------------------------------------------------------------
44. Bart's Dog Gets an F (season 2)
Synopsis: Much like Bart himself, Santa's Little Helper isn't well-trained. The Simpson parents threaten to give him up if he can't pass obedience school.
--------------------------------------------------------------
43. Lisa the Greek (season 3)
Synopsis: Lisa, in an attempt to connect with her father, discovers a talent for picking the winners of football games.
--------------------------------------------------------------
42. Homer vs. Patty and Selma (season 6)
Synopsis: After a bad investment, Homer borrows money from Patty and Selma, leading to their torturous behavior of the man they despire the most.
--------------------------------------------------------------
41. Home Sweet Homediddly Dum Diddly (season 7)
Synopsis: Ned Flanders finds it impossible to repress his rage any longer, telling off the town after its attempt to rebuild his hurricane-damaged home. Flanders checks into a mental institution and we learn more about his past.
--------------------------------------------------------------
40. Homer vs. the 18th Amendment (season 8)
Synopsis: A drunken St. Patrick's Day leads to the reinstatement of Prohibition in Springfield. Moe reopens as a speakeasy and Homer supplies it with illegal alcohol.
--------------------------------------------------------------
39. Treehouse of Horror IV (season 5)
--------------------------------------------------------------
38. In Marge We Trust (season 8)
Synopsis: Marge discovers a knack for talking people through their problems, leading people to trust her over Reverend Lovejoy.
--------------------------------------------------------------
37. The Front (season 4)
Synopsis: Annoyed with the state of cartoons, Bart and Lisa write their own Itchy and Scratchy cartoons, using Abe Simpson's name to give it more credibility.
--------------------------------------------------------------
36. Dead Putting Society (season 2)
Synopsis: Bart and Todd Flanders compete in a miniature golf tournament. Their respective fathers wager on it.
--------------------------------------------------------------
35. Treehouse of Horror VII (season 8)
--------------------------------------------------------------
34. Bart Gets Famous (season 5)
Synopsis: Bart lands a job as an assistant on the Krusty the Klown show. His accidental entrance on stage helps him become famous.
--------------------------------------------------------------
33. Who Shot Mr. Burns (season 6/7)
Synopsis: A two-part episode over the end of one season, and the beginning of another, Springfield tries to solve the mystery of who shot Mr. Burns after Burns blocks out the sun.
--------------------------------------------------------------
32. $pringfield (season 5)
Synopsis: Springfield legalizes gambling to lure more tourists. Mr. Burns finances a casino, Homer becomes a blackjack dealer and Marge neglects her family after getting hooked on slot machines.
--------------------------------------------------------------
31. I Love Lisa (season 4)
Synopsis: Lisa receives an unwanted crush from Ralph Wiggum. She rebuffs him publicly, and later the two are paired as leads in a school play.
--------------------------------------------------------------
30. Life on the Fast Lane (season 1)
Synopsis:
--------------------------------------------------------------
29. Bart Sells His Soul (season 7)
Synopsis: Bart, in an attempt to prove the lack of spirituality, sells his soul to Milhouse. Weird occurrences take place afterward.
--------------------------------------------------------------
28. Homer's Enemy (season 8)
Synopsis: The power plant hires Frank Grimes, a man who pulled himself up from nothing through hard work. Grimes is disgusted by Homer's work ethic. Meanwhile, Bart buys an abandoned factory for $1 at a tax auction.
--------------------------------------------------------------
27. Homer's Triple Bypass (season 4)
Synopsis: Homer suffers multiple heart attacks, leading to bypass surgery he can't afford.
--------------------------------------------------------------
26. Saturdays of Thunder (season 3)
Synopsis: Bart builds a soap box derby racer. Homer, in an attempt to connect with his son, tries to help.
--------------------------------------------------------------
25. Homer At the Bat (season 3)
Synopsis: Mr. Burns hires a bunch of pro baseball players as ringers for the power plant softball team. Several misfortunes render almost all of those players unable to play in the championship.
--------------------------------------------------------------
24. Radioactive Man (season 7)
Synopsis: The Radioactive Man movie shoot sets up in Springfield. Milhouse wins the part of Fallout Boy.
--------------------------------------------------------------
23. Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk (season 3)
Synopsis: Mr. Burns sells the power plant to a German consortium. The new owners fire Homer for his incompetence.
--------------------------------------------------------------
22. Homer Defined (season 3)
Synopsis: Homer's dumb luck averts a meltdown at the power plant. He is dismayed by the attention, knowing his skill had nothing to do with defusing the crisis.
--------------------------------------------------------------
21. Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire (season 1)
Synopsis: The first episode in the series, Homer does not get his Christmas bonus, and Marge has to spend the rest of the gift money on tattoo removal for Bart.
--------------------------------------------------------------
20. Two Cars in Every Garage, Three Eyes on Every Fish (season 2)
Synopsis: Mr. Burns runs for Governor, leading to a political division in the Simpson household.
--------------------------------------------------------------
19. Homer Loves Flanders (season 5)
Synopsis: Homer develops a new appreciation for Flanders, but it borders on obssessive.
--------------------------------------------------------------
18. Bart the Genius (season 1)
Synopsis: Bart switches IQ tests with Martin, leading to his placement at a gifted school.
--------------------------------------------------------------
17. Homer Alone (season 3)
Synopsis: Marge takes a vacation to cope with stress, leaving Homer in charge of the kids. Maggie disappears.
--------------------------------------------------------------
16. Homer's Phobia (season 8)
Synopsis: The Simpson family become friends with the owner of an antique store, but Homer rescinds the friendship after finding out the man is gay. Homer is also worried about the influence on his son.
--------------------------------------------------------------
15. Lisa the Beauty Queen (season 4)
Synopsis: Homer's attempt to improve Lisa's self-confidence leads to him entering Lisa in a beauty pageant. After ascending to the crown following the winner's injury, Lisa tries to use her role for activism.
--------------------------------------------------------------
14. Itchy, Scratchy and Marge (season 2)
Synopsis: Disgusted by cartoon violence, Marge successfully forces changes to the Itchy and Scratchy show. But her followers want her activism to go further.
--------------------------------------------------------------
13. Brush with Greatness (season 2)
Synopsis: Marge rediscovers her joy of painting after a long-delayed reply from Ringo Starr from her letter sent in the 1960s. Ultimately Marge paints the image of Mr. Burns.
--------------------------------------------------------------
12. Sweet Seymour Skinner's Badass Song (season 5)
Synopsis: After losing his principal job, Seymour Skinner re-enlists as an officer in the Army. Skinner befriends his one-time nemesis Bart, and together they plot to win back Skinner his job.
--------------------------------------------------------------
11. Simpson and Delilah (season 2)
Synopsis: Homer bilks the company medical insurance for hair growth formula. It works, and his new image as a vigorous go-getter wins a promotion... until his secret his revealed.
--------------------------------------------------------------
10. Duffless (season 4)
Synopsis: After a DUI, Homer surrenders his license for a month and gives up drinking. Bart ruins Lisa's science fair project, so she develops a Clockwork Orange-style alternative at Bart's expense.
--------------------------------------------------------------
9. Summer of 4'2" (season 7)
Synopsis: The Simpson family uses the Flanders beach house for a summer vacation. Determined to change her nerdy image, Lisa adopts a new style and wins some new friends.
--------------------------------------------------------------
8. Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment (season 2)
Synopsis: Homer steals cable television, and just about everyone finds some joy in it. Lisa begs her dad to cut the cord after a review of the ten commandments in church.
--------------------------------------------------------------
7. Homer the Heretic (season 4)
On an especially cold Sunday morning, Homer skips church, has a wonderful day, and decides to seek his own path. Church members try to win him back to the flock.
--------------------------------------------------------------
6. A Streetcar Named Marge (season 4)
Synopsis: Marge wins a part in a play as an effort to meet more people. She is frustrated by Homer's indifference and otherwise gross behavior.
--------------------------------------------------------------
5. Selma's Choice (season 4)
Synopsis: Following the death of her Aunt Gladys, Selma Bouvier wants to have a baby. Selma takes Bart and Lisa to Duff Gardens, and realizes parenting is much tougher than she imagined.
Review: From the family trip to a funeral to the trip to an amusement park, this hit home for me. Like any good episode, it features Lionel Hutz, but also a hysterical array of attractions and consequences at Duff Gardens, and everyone's favorite Duff mascot, Surly.
Great moments:
-The Duff Gardens commercials
-Patty and Selma smoking in the car
-Legend of the dog-faced woman
-Counting game
-Pastor mistaking Gladys for a man
-Gladys' video will
-Potato chips that look like celebrities
-Low expectations dating service
-Hans Moleman reading the eye chart, and the menu
-Homer eating the rapidly rotting sandwich
-The erotic adventures of Herclues
-Surly
-Lisa's hallucination
-Doctor's orders for Lisa
Quotations:
"All in favor of skipping the poem." --Homer fast-forwarding through the video will
"Why didn't she just leave me the bowel obstruction that killed her?" --Jackie, upon learning she gets an iguana from the will
"So, wearing a belt, are you?" --Selma flirting with teenage grocery bagger
"Come to Duff Gardens, where roaming gangs aren't a problem anymore!" --Duff Gardens commercial
Patty: You'll have to give up smoking.
Selma: I'll chew.
Patty: No man will ever want you.
Selma: All I have now is sperm in a cup.
Marge: Homer, I found this (the sandwich) behind the radiator. I think you should throw it away.
Homer: Suggestion noted. (eats mutated sandwich)
Surly: Surly only looks out for one guy-- Surly.
Selma: Sorry, Surly.
Surly: Shut up.
"Oh I'm not a doctor." --Park "doctor" administering numerous pills to Lisa
--------------------------------------------------------------
4. Bart the Daredevil (season 2)
Synopsis: After seeing a motorcycle stunt from Lance Murdock, Bart increases the complexity of his skateboarding tricks. In the end, Bart decides to jump Springfield Gorge on his skateboard, and Homer tries repeatedly to stop him.
Review: Outlandish as the idea is, it is a wonderful depiction of youthful rebellion, and a family's love to prevent the one of their own from doing something terribly destructive. The ending is completely unrealistic, but hysterical to the point of snort-laughing, and thus, the high ranking. This was the first truly iconic, and memorable Simpsons episode.
Great moments:
-Truckosaurus commercial
-Truckosaurus damage to Simpson station wagon
-Adding a lion to the pool
-Murdock's stunt
-Murdock's horrific failure after completing the jump
-Murdock's affirmation of Bart's gorge stunt
-Homer's descent into the gorge
-Homer's unfortunately short amublance ride, and a second fall down the gorge
Quotations:
"How much longer was Sherbert planning on making this symphony?" --Homer on the 1812 Overture
"On the plus side, there doesn't seem to be any frame damage." - adjuster looking at Simpson car damage
"It's a small price to pay for countless hours of top-notch entertainment." --Dr. Hibbert on TV violence and injuries
"Bart, this isn't one of those phony-baloney promises I don't expect you to keep." --Homer
"You think you've got guts? Try raising my kids." --Homer to Lance Murdock
--------------------------------------------------------------
3. Separate Vocations (season 3)
Synopsis: Springfield Elementary administers the Career Aptitude Normalizing Test (CANT). Lisa sinks into depression and rebellion upon learning her ideal career is homemaker. Bart transforms into an authority figure, as his ideal career is police officer. Steve Allen guest stars.
Review: This is your classic personality switch, with Bart becoming the good student and Lisa the poor one. It's a well-done story from beginning to end, with Lisa exposing the ignorance of the faculty, and Bart compromising his newfound authority to protect his sister from trouble.
Great moments:
-Mrs. Krapabbel's bitterness
-The aptitude test
-The test-grading machine in Iowa
-Ralph's career as a salmon gutter
-Homer devouring a carefully-arranged breakfast
-The school's cache of confiscated items
-Miss Hoover's answer key
-Faculty's horror at losing the teacher edition books
-Steve Allen voicing over Bart in a dream sequence
Quotations:
"Since we have fifteen minutes until recess, please put down your pencils and stare at the front of the room." --Miss Hoover
"Come on, Emma." --old man nudging the sputtering CANT-grading machine with his broom
"No, the Army said I was too heavy. The police said I was too dumb." --Homer
"I'll be frank with you, Lisa, and when I say frank, I mean devastating." --music shop instructor
Bart: Can I see your club?
Officer: It's called a baton, son.
Bart: Oh, what's it for?
Officer: We club people with it.
"I saw some awful things in 'Nam, but you really have to wonder at the mentality that would desecrate a helpless puma." --Skinner, lamenting school's vandalizes puma sculpture
"That belly ain't getting any pinker." --Bart the hall monitor
Homer: Oh, we always have one good kid and one lousy kid. Why can't both our kids be good?"
Marge: We have *three* kids, Homer.
"Shove it." --Lisa to Miss Hoover
"The school is a police state. Students are afraid to sneeze. And I have you to thank for it." --Skinner, to Bart
"Does anyone know the multiplication tables?!?" --teacher worried over lack of teacher edition books
--------------------------------------------------------------
2. Last Exit to Springfield (season 4)
Synopsis: Upon a visit to the dentist, Lisa finds out she needs braces. At the same time, the new power plant union contract eliminates dental insurance. Homer becomes the head of the union to negotiate the return of the dental plan to the contract.
Review: Many people consider this to be the finest Simpsons episode ever, and with good reason. This episode is packed with insanely funny moments, particularly during Homer's negotiations with Mr. Burns over the union contract, starting with Homer's fear Mr. Burns is flirting with him, to the hired goons, Homer's inability to hold it in, and finally the celebration at the end.
Great moments:
-Painless Dentistry (formerly Painful Dentistry)
-Homer's explanation for the two scars on his head
-Homer's battle with his brain after learning of the dental plan's demise
-Lisa's brace options without dental insurance
-Homer mistaking Burns' opening negotiations for flirting
-Hired goons
-Mr. Burns' mansion
-Homer's inability to hold it in
-Homer and Burns on the TV show Smartline
-Burns and Smithers trying to run the plant while the union is on strike
-Homer's celebration after winning the negotiations
Great quotations:
"Why must you turn my office into a house of lies?" --dentist
"These predate stainless steel, so you can't get them wet." --dentist showing off more affordable braces
"Dental plan! Lisa needs braces! (repeated many times)" --Homer's brain
"I got this scar sneaking under the door of a pay toilet." --Homer
Kent Brockman: "Homer, organized labor has been called a lumbering dinosaur."
Homer (horrified): Ahhhhhhh!
Kent Brockman: "Okay, I'm being told not to talk to you anymore."
Homer: Woohoo!
"Look at Simpson. He thinks he's the cock of the walk. Well, I tell you, he's cock of nothing!" --Mr. Burns
"These are a thousand monkeys at a thousand typewriters. Soon they will have written the greatest novel known to man. Let's see, here... it was the best of times, it was the BLURST of times?? You stupid monkey!" --Mr. Burns
"Homer, I just want to take the pressure off. It doesn't take a whiz to see you're looking out for number one." --Mr. Burns negotiating with Homer (who really needs to go to the bathroom)
--------------------------------------------------------------
1. Marge in Chains (season 4)
Synopsis: Stressed over caring for a sick family, Marge accientally shoplifts a bottle of bourbon. She is sentenced to 30 days in jail, and the family falls apart without her.
Review: While some people place "Last Exit" as the best episode, I prefer this one. I find it to be the perfect combination of outrageous moments of laughter and warm family moments. Simpson lawyer Lionel Hutz steals the show with his profound ineptitude in the courtroom, right down to the moment he realizes he's not wearing pants.
Great moments:
-The Osaka Flu's journey around Springfield
-Chief Wiggum's defense against the approaching flu
-Mr. Burns' germ free chamber
-The overwhelming response by police to the shoplifting alarm
-Prosecutor's confidence in court
-Lionel Hutz's misguided confidence in court
-Jailhouse tattoo
-Homer's house rules
Great quotations:
"It's whisper quiet!" --Dr. Nick yelling over the juicer he's promoting.
"Route 401 is going around and around and around... and look out at 12th and Main because I'm going to be sick." --Channel 6 traffic reporter
"I lowered the price because an escaped mental patient tampered with the bottle." --Apu on the high price of aspirin
"I am so confident of Marge Simpson's guilt, I can waste the court's time by rating the super hunks." --prosecutor
"Sweet, bourbon... brownest of the brown liquors. What's that? You want me to drink you? But I'm in the middle of a trial." --Lionel Hutz
Hutz: "And so, I rest my case."
Judge: "Hmmm... Mr. Hutz? Do you realize you're not wearing any pants?"
(Hutz looks down and yelps in realization)
Hutz: "I move for a bad court thingy."
Judge: "You mean a mistrial?"
Hutz: "Right. That's why you're the judge and I'm the law talking guy."
Lisa: "Who's going to change Maggie?"
Homer: "We're going to let her roam free in the back yard and nature will take its course."